Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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