i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
