I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
