dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
True college students do jello shots in the library
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
