I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize