dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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