Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
