I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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