I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
