Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
