You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Sober January is a disaster.
Dignity is for republicans.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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