If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
