Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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