I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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