what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
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He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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