It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
