I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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