Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm at about main and main street
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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