btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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