He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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