Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
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My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
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Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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