ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
