So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
