Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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