no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
