I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
