All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
