she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.