Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
