Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My ATM looks so different sober.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
