I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
