Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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