HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
