A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I am mentally ready for anal.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
