Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
