I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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