At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
