Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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