How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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