hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
