There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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