I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
