He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
