Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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