So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
