Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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