I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
