You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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