I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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