Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
