He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
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