just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
