apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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