i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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