Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just pee around me
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
