I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
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You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
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I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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