??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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